More Facts About Rock and Roll (by Mitch Masterson, guitarist of The Hardcore Jollies

Fact #2)  The Beatles were actually one man, and that one man was also the inventor of the compact disc.

     According to Wikipdia, "The Beatles, were an English rock combo formed in Liverpool in 1960, and one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music."  The fact of the matter is that, The Beatles were actually one man, and that one man was also the inventor of the compact disc.

     The 'formation' of The Beatles coincided with rising tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union.  In 1960 The Cold War was quickly gaining momentum.  President Eisenhower was profoundly aware of the Soviets' ever increasing sphere of influence over global affairs. He ordered the formation of an intelligence committee whose sole purpose was to  author comprehensive counter strategies against the growing red menace.  In response to  Eisenhower's decree, American intelligence agencies combined their efforts to produce a propaganda machine which they called, The Beatles.  Eisenhower's intention was to raise the spirits of the European and American populous and also infect the communist regime with popular culture from the west.  One man and, needless to say, brilliant composer, was contracted by the CIA to produce a vast catalog of musical compositions to appease the masses.  Kaoru Finkelstein was a Japanese Jew behind the phenomenon known as, The Beatles.  In addition to being a musical mastermind, he was also an accomplished physicist.  In the twilight of his life, Finkelstein developed digital technology which became known as, "the compact disc".  Below is the earliest known footage of Finkelstein (at age two) performing his brand new song, Hey Jude.  The footage has been color enhanced for your enjoyment.

     By the mid 1960's Beatlemania had swept across all of the continents except for Antarctica.  The newly elected Kennedy administration perceived The Beatles as, "a beast that could not be contained".  It was determined that a force more powerful than both capitalism and communism would have to be undermined.  In October of 1967 the administration set out to do just that.  News stories of John Lennon's rampant homosexuality began to hit the airwaves.  Officials used the media to spread false stories about his penchant for long haired, young, skinny men in floral garb.  It was thought by officials, that by bringing down the the face of the band, they could bring down the entire beast.  Much to their chagrin, Lennon's public  appearances with skinny, long haired, young  men in floral garb was actually part of another large popular movement known as, "Flower Power."

     By the time Nixon rose to power government strategists learned to use the Flower Power movement to their benefit.  Skinny, young, long haired men in floral garb participating in non-violent protest were much easier to arrest and control than the more radical factions interested in revolution.  Soon Nixon and his cronies in the media secretly embraced the image of John Lennon as a  young, skinny, long haired, floral garb wearing, communist, pacifist.  They actually accused him of this publicly, which then led to the eventual downfall of the Beatles.  They were no longer dangerous to the system.