In an effort to reach out to our fans and get to really know them one by one, The Hardcore Jollies are kicking off the summer with a new contest. Each month we will be choosing a Jollies Fan of the Month. Shoot us an email in 100 words or less explaining why you are the biggest Hardcore Jollies fan on earth. A finalist will be hand selected and his or her essay will be stored in our "archivos de meirda" time capsule. In twenty years we will revisit the capsule and analyze the essays of past winners. Their works will live on to tell the story of a generation of dip shits. We will also have our in house sketch artist complete a portrait of the winners.
This month's first winner is Julio "Dickface" Gomez. In his essay, Julio claimed that by attending Hardcore Jollies shows, his penis size actually increased by 10%, and that his face had become more attractive to women. We've contracted a team of scientists to confirm the validity of these claims and have found that this is, in fact, impossible. Julio is either delusional or lying. Well congratulations anyway for your time and efforts and awe inspiring fanship. Forever we will create music for you, Julio. Good luck in your life and god bless the man and woman who came together to create your being, without it we would have one less superfan.
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